Washing Dishes

"If while washing dishes, we think only of the cup of tea that awaits us, thus hurrying to get the dishes out of the way as if they were a nuisance, then we are not “washing the dishes to wash the dishes.” What’s more, we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes. In fact we are completely incapable of realizing the miracle of life while standing at the sink. If we can’t wash the dishes, the chances are we won’t be able to drink our tea either. While drinking the cup of tea, we will only be thinking of other things, barely aware of the cup in our hands. Thus we are sucked away into the future—and we are incapable of actually living one minute of life." ~Thich Nhat Hanh 

I'm going to be 70 years old next year. I spent most of my life working real hard and pushing real hard and still feeling like I wasn't doing enough. At the end of the day I would look at my to-do list and I would think about all the things that I had not finished, not giving much thought to all of those things that I  had finished. Many times I would be doing one thing and thinking ahead to the next task that had to be completed. Then I would move to the next task and think about the NEXT task in line to be completed. I was very much like the person in this quote, never really being present in whatever I was doing. My value rested in my accomplishments.

I'm starting to slow down now. I have vision difficulty which forces me to organize my work very methodically. The last few months I've started having some twinges in my wrists and arms and hands.. if it were not for these things I might not be considering a change. This doesn't come naturally for me. That would be too bad, because I have nothing to prove to anyone. I have a great deal of credibility in my accomplishments that are behind me. I can rest and know that I have given my best when I could most of the time. I'm learning to relax and enjoy the tasks I have before me each day, not necessarily needing to explain myself or at least trying not to feel like I need to.

I think I'm more pleasant company now also.

Sometimes I look out my kitchen window and feel a little guilty at all that I have not completed and comparing myself to my past self and other people. But then a little voice in my head says "You cannot do it all. You cannot do all that you think you need to do, or that you want to do."

It's kind of a relief. I'm learning to enjoy it. I'm not sure I could have learned it as a younger woman. I'm not sure I felt comfortable with what I had accomplished in my life. So I'm not going to encourage any of you to take on this same mindset. Just tuck it away and give it some thought. 

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:"

Ecclesiastes 3:1